Whalers PR

Well I guess my little experiment with the rookies isn't quite working as well as I had planned. This idea of building a new team of my own players is not showing well on the scoreboard. Oh well. I still think that in the long run my plan will achieve my goals it just might take a season or two and in the mean time I will just have to be satisfied with little moral victories along the way. For example: beating up on the Senators (tough break getting into this Division), taking it to the lowly Booins (could be a little tougher this year but we are up for it) and of course doing my best to pound those guys from the belle provance ( or however those frenchies say it).

Our record may not be where we want to be but we have long considered this to be a building year and Mr. Svatos is not too pleased about that. I think he had hoped to be challenging for the cup by now and I don't see that happening just yet. We of course would like to give him a chance at that elusive cup if there are any takers. We are still looking for youth and or picks so if any of you contenders are looking for some extra scoring, drop me a line.

Thanks for your time and patience
Whalers GM
Paul "Keep it Youthful" Gagne

CBJ have a farm goalie on the block

Willing to look at all ofers. TC or Cash (less than market Value)


2 Thomas Greiss 0 L G 6 7 7 7 4 6 7 7 8 - - 59


Warren

Stars news

The Northstars are faring well in our new division so far this season. The team is playing as we expected with our current roster. The departure of netminder Vokoun has had no negative effect on the team due to the outstanding play of old geezer Chris Osgood. Our assesment of an over rated playoff chokin Vokoun seem to be accurate as Osgood is among the league leaders in gaa and save percentage and Vokoun is conspicuously missing from the league leaders list. That being said we do have a problem. Our corps of centers is not deep enough to be taking the penalties that they are so therefore we are in the market for a new #1 centre and are putting Peter Mueller on the block along with Dustin Boyd. One of these guys needs to go for a center who'll be on the ice in special team situations as well as not putting the team down a man constantly. Heres the digits, Mueller is the guy we really want to move here.
31 Peter Mueller 0 R C 8 8 8 6 5 2 9 8 9 8 4 75
7 Dustin Boyd 0 7 R C 7 7 7 7 7 3 7 7 9 7 9 77
JohnStars GM

Richards is FA Bust

At the end of PHL8, RW Mike Richards signed the most lucrative FA contract in the history of the PHL.

1 Mike Richards 1- R RW 8 7 9 9 9 8 9 8 9 9 5 90

How has he followed up that contract? In his first season with the Rockies, he finished 5th in team scoring, netting well under a PPG pace.

F 1 Mike Richards 80 25 30 55 7 6 2 1 1 227 56 11.0

The Rockies management team and coaching staff struggled all year to find him the linemates to get him going. Before this season, they decided to give him more of a leadership role and named him Team Captain, thinking it might be the tonic he needs to really start to play up to his potential. This has proven to be a poor tactic, thus far. In the first 14 games of PHL10, Richards has looked like a borderline PHLer on most nights. He again finds himself 5th in team scoring, but an even slower pace than last year.

F 1 Mike Richards 14 3 3 6 -4 1 0 0 0 31 7 9.7

It has been rumored that Richards may now be 'on the block', with the Whalers and Flyers mentioned as possible destinations for the under-performing, super-star.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

Rockies Sucking... AGAIN!

The Colorado Rockies play 9 of their first 10 games on the road to start PHL10... and thus far, the results have been dismal. The team is 1-5-2 to start the season, they've scored a total of 16 goals through 8 games, are clipping at only 13% on the PP and are decimated by slumping players...

... what the hell is going on in Denver? How long can coach Joey Kocur keep his job? We know GM Livingston isn't going anywhere. That pompous jerk must have naked pictures of the Owner... only he knows how the GM is still employed in the PHL.

Another season, another nightmare in Denver. I'm personally thinking of moving to Oakland, maybe the Seals need a writer.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

Youth Experiment

Well the Whalers experiment is in it's infancy just like the team itself. Our glorious GM, Mr. Paul Gagne, wanted to build his own team and is definitely well on his way to do this while starting four 18 yr olds. The only other team to use this much youth is the Seals and this is the factor for the bad record so far. Even though the Whalers are playing in the toughest division in the PHL they still believe they will contend.

With Rajala, Cehlin, Scevior and Siren all starting for the big club the only regret Mr. Gagne has is that he doesn't have at least 2 more rookies including a dman and a pro ready rookie goalie. Juha Metsola is doing a valiant job in the PMHL but is at least a season away before he will be moved to the big club. With this being said Mr. Gagne has given me permission to mention that a few players are on the block. This list includes Weiss, Chimera, Svatos, Pyett and Daigneault. Yes the team captain is on the list and let me tell you he is none too pleased to always being placed on the block. When I last talked to Svatos he had no flattering words for Mr.Gagne but also understands that he has value and that Paul has no desire in having players from the old Eastern Block countries. Coming up in the minors tho the future of the big club looks great with PK Subban, Juha Metsola and Luca Sbisa getting experience and getting ready to shore up the backend.

All in all the Whalers are looking to get even more youth in moving the players above and still hope to contend in this really tough division. Mr Gagne still says the Whalers will finish above the terrible Booins and can't wait to see how their season series plays out. Should be a blood fest.

Well from Hartford this will be all for now but we will keep all you fans apprised of the dealings and moves that our fantastic GM, Mr. Paul Gagne, makes to acquire youth and skill.

From the Desk of
"Iron" Mike Keenan

Shake-Up in Denver?

The Colorado Rockies are 0-2-2 to start the season, with their only 'high point' being a 4-4 tie in their home opener last night against the Sabres. With the Aces doing so well, its unlikely GM Livingston is going to simply sit and watch this team put in another sub-.500 season. With the talent being brewed down on the farm, there's little room for the veterans of this team to continue to struggle.

Other than G Kari Lehtonen, Ds Mitch Maunu and Marc Staal, and team Captain RW Mike Richards, there are very few players safe on the Rockies roster, as many will be replaced by young players coming up from the farm for PHL11.

As has become custom with the Rockies, they simply cannot score. They have a total of 8 GF through the first 4 games of the season. This is simply putting too much pressure on Gs Lehtonen and Jonas Hiller, as they have to steal a game in order for this group to a W.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

Grim Reaper Going North

Colorado Rockies GM Justin Livingston has announced the organization found a replacement for the late Bob Probert.

"Bobby and his memory are fueling the Aces right now, so we wanted to get someone with a good hockey mind, for sure, but it was also a priority to bring someone in that meant something to Bobby as well." Livingston explained, "With his best friend and team-mate Joey Kocur already coaching the Rockies, it didn't make any sense to bring him back down to the PMHL. So, since we couldn't bring in the guy that fought along side Bobby all those years, we asked ourselves, 'Who was he fighting all those years?' ... The answer we came up with was Stu Grimson!"

So, it seems Bob Probert's replacement is perhaps a man that knows him more intimately than anyone else alive, having done battle with him so many times over the years.

"I fought Probey more times than I care to remember... I didn't win very many," admitted Grimson.

He continued,"I'm extemely proud of what Bobby has started here in Anchorage, I'm committed to finishing this off for him... we want to win the PMHL10 Championship in his Honour."

And so the Age of the Reaper has begun in the PMHL, and the Aces are promising to take No Prisoners!

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

DMAN DOGHOUSE!

Philadelphia, PA. (BNS) It seems Flyers defenceman Scott Hannan has landed in Coach Clarke's Dog House. The carousing blueliner has been consistently late for practices and apparently misses team meetings on a regular basis. His lack of effort during practices and an occassional missed team flight has already, early in the season, pushed Clarke to the breaking point. Hannan's on ice performance in all five games this season has been less than spectacular, resulting in loss of ice time. His stats, well, are nil. Clarke has asked General Manager, Jazz Matthews to move the talented defenceman and bring in a player to contribute. Though Matthews is reluctant to move a dman of this calibre, (L D 5 6 8 8 9 5 7 8 8 7 7 - 78) even if he is not up to par, the thought is being entertained. However, with the Flyers on a season starting five game unbeaten streak, Matthews says it has to really be the right deal to take what may be good karma away from the lineup.

In the meantime, Matthews is always listening to offers.

Aces Do Proud by Their Fallen Coach

With the memory of their beloved coach still fresh in their minds, the Aces sent a message to the rest of the PMHL yesterday. The team managed a pair of wins where they completely dominated the games from start to finish.

They started out the Game Day in front of a sold-out crowd in Anchorage, crushing the Crunch 6-2. The Aces efforts were led by C Zach Boychuk, who managed a goal and 2 helpers in the victory.

The Aces put on a 20-minute tribute to Bob Probert before the game. There was a mild concern that the delay might affect the Aces players going into the 1st period, especially as many of them had been moved to tears during the ceremony. This fear proved to be legitimate as the Aces looked totally lost to start the game, allowing the Crunch to score just 11 seconds into the game!

In an unprecedented move, Aces' new young Captain, Drew Doughty, called a time-out right after the goal was scored, just 11 seconds into the contest. Doughty went on to yell and encourage his team-mates for the entire time-out. When the referee came over to let the team know teh time-out had expired, Doughty shouted, "I'll let you know when we're done," and continued his verbal assault on the team. The time-out worked wonders as the Aces dominated the rest of the game and took home the victory.

The Aces played another strong game in beating the 'Hawks 4-1. This time RW Jody Gage led the way with 2 goals and an assist. Gage has 5 points already on this young season, tied for the PMHL lead.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

Rockies Let One Get Away

The Colorado Rockies opened up the PHL10 season on home ice against the Hartford Whalers. The Rockies, obviously still emotional regarding the news of Bob Probert's passing, came out on fire.

"We carried the play early, no question about that," said Coach Joey Kocur at the post-game press conference, "I actually think that's what hurt us. We were running on adrenaline, trying to do too much to win this for Bobby. With the boys not quite 100% in ideal game shape yet, you can't come out like that and expect to sustain it for 60 minutes."

The team took a 2-goal lead in the first 10 minutes on goals by former captain Garth Murray and young RW Grant Stevenson.

The Whalers got their first goal of the game with only 23 ticks on the clock left in the first period, and that seemed to deflate the Rockies... it was like they let that goal mean they had let down the memory of Bob Probert. The Whalers were able to go on to win the game 4-2.

"Its really too bad, you know," a somber GM Justin Livingston went on to add,"the team obviously put a lot of pressure on themselves to prove something tonight and it didn't turn out as planned. Hopefully the boys in Alaska can just relax and play like they know how... not put too much pressure on themselves, y'know? The Aces don't have anything they have to prove on opening night... neither did we."

Luckily for the shaken team, they were able to get right back on the ice for their second game of the season, in the Windy City against the 'Hawks.

The Rockies were able to calm down and play a steady, though not spectacular, road game. They were able to come out of there with a respectable 3-1 victory... more importantly, they were able to put the memory of the home opener behind them.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.

Don Cherry speaks about

Columbus,OH cajn You've got to love this Guy!! DON CHERRY, the Head Coach of the PHL's Blue Jackets and Hockey Night in Canada was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought about the allegations of torture of suspected terrorists. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience.





HIS STATEMENT:

"If hooking up one raghead terrorist prisoner's testicles to a car battery to get the truth out of the lying little camel shagger will save just one Canadian life, then I have only three things to say:

"Red is positive, black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet." Classic Don Cherry, I say.

I'm sure the the League Office will be contacting the GM of the Jackets once this hits the news wire. Will GM Colston be forced to remove me as the Jackets press agent? Hey Mike, you better clear you schedule just in case.


Cupp A Joe

Aces' Coach Passes Away at 45

The Colorado Rockies' Hockey Club regrets to announce the passing of Alaska Aces head coach, Bob Probert. Probert was a true player's coach... demanding but fair.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with his family right now," GM Livingston responded when asked if there was a replacement in mind.

It was announced that the Aces and Rockies teams would be sporting commemorative '24' stickers on their helmets, and sporting 'Bobby' as a shoulder patch on their jerseys.

"The Aces will be playing for Bobby and his family this season... his spirit will be with us, and we will win the PMHL Championship... we will let NOTHING stop us... this is for Bobby now!" explained Livingston, getting visibly emotional and starting to tear up.

For the Colorado Complainer, this has been Nathan Livingston.